One of the most touching stories of Calvin and Hobbes

Hobbes, look! There's a little raccoon on the ground. Is it alive? I think so, but he's hurt. See, he's hardly breathing. Better not touch him if he's hurt. Yeah. You wait here and guard him. I'll run and get Mom. I sure hope she can help. Of course she can! You don't get to be Mom if you can't fix everything just right.There's Hobbes guarding him, Mom. The little raccoon's right over there! Ooh, Calvin, I don't know if we can save him. He looks pretty bad. Go get a shoe box and a clean dish towel. Right! I don't think this poor little guy is going to make it, Hobbes (sigh) I hate it when these things happen. ... you can tell I'm upset when I start talking to you.Well, I got him in the shoe box. I guess all we can do is keep him warm and safe. We'll keep him in the garage, and put out some water and food. I read in a book that raccoons will eat just about anything. Chances are, I'll be happy to donate most of my dinner. Calvin, you don't even know what we're having. Has he eaten anything? No. don't die little raccoon. It wouldn't be very grateful of you to break my heart. I can't sleep. Me either. I keep thinking about the raccoon. I hope he lives. Me too. I think animals are always so cute. Dad, did you check on the little raccoon this morning? Yes, Calvin. I'm afraid he died. Waahhhh!! I'm sorry too, kiddo. But he didn't have much of a chance. Wahhhaahh! At least he died warm and safe Calvin. We did all could, but now he's gone. Sniff. I know I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me. This is where Dad buried the little raccoon. I didn't even know he existed a few days ago and now he's gone forever. It's like I found him for no reason. I had to say good-bye as soon as I said hello. Still ... in a sad, awful, terrible way, I'm happy I met him. Sniff. What a stupid world. You know Hobbes, I can't figure out this death stuff. Why did that little raccoon have to die? He didn't do anything wrong. He was just little! What's the point of putting him here and taking him back so soon?!? It's either mean or its arbitrary, and either way I've got the heebie-jeebies. Why is it always night when we talk about these things? Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle. She says we don't really understand it, but there are many things we don't understand and we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have. I guess that makes sense. But don't you go anywhere. Don't worry.

 Yukon Ho!

Mom wants me to clean my room. This is the last straw! I don't have to put up with this totalitarianism! I'm seceding! Gee, can you secede form your own family? Why not? I never signed up for this group! I wasn't even consulted! The only reason Mom and Dad are my parents is because I was born to them! A biological conspiracy, huh? We can live anywhere we want to now that we're seceding from the family! Where do you want to go? The Sahara? Antarctica? How are we going to get to any of those places? We don't even have a car! Ok Dad, for this amazing trick I'll need an ordinary American Express card. Now close your eyes ... Hobbes and I are seceding form this family, Mom. Oh really? Yep. We're taking my sled and moving to the Yukon. Well, that's a long way away. I know. Here's a list of sandwiches and supplies we'll need. Why should I do all this if you're seceding from the family? We haven't seceded yet! Geez. What kind of mom are you? Well, I guess we're all packed. Comic books, dart gun, space helmet and toboggan! We're off to the Yukon! Do we have a map? Ooh, that's right! Glad you remembered! I'll go get one! Don't we have any road maps of the Yukon, Mom? I doubt it. Ok, here's the Yukon. Now see if you can find the United States. Here they are! Look how close it is! This won't take any time at all! So long,
I'm not going to be led by you! I'm the rightful captain! You just stole my captain helmet! Let's say you gave it to me under extreme duress. Ooh, if you were littler than me, boy, I'd found you! Ha! Your mom told me you have a weird disease and you're going to get smaller as you grow older! She did not! That's not true! In fact, she's already got a contract from the circus side show. I saw it myself. I'm not listening! I'm not listening! Ohh say can you see ...
If I can't lead the expedition I'm not going at all! You can go to the Yukon yourself. Ha! As captain, I fire you anyway! Good! I'm going home! You don't have a home. You seceded, remember? My life needs a rewind/erase button. ... and a volume control.
What if Mom and Dad won't take me back because I seceded? What if they tell me I can't rejoin the family? They have to take me back! I'm their stupid kid, right? Right! ... the operative word being stupid.
Gosh, maybe Mom and Dad sold all my belongings when I seceded. Maybe they rented out my room. Maybe they moved! ... a lot can happen when you are gone all morning! ... Mommmm!!
I'm back, Mom. I changed my mind about seceding I want to be your kid again, ok? You'll always be my kid. I'm glad you're back. Well, Hobbes was being a moron. So I decided I didn't want to live in the Yukon with him. So where is Hobbes now? Isn't he back yet? How could Hobbes get back by himself? You're right that dumb tiger couldn't find his way out of an empty room.
Bedtime, Calvin. Where's Hobbes? I suppose he's wherever you left him. You mean he's still in the woods?? It's night out! What have I told you about leaving your belongings? Hobbes is lost! I'll get a flashlight! We've got to find him! Hobbes! Hobbes! Calvin, it's your bedtime! Don't pull this stunt now!
Hobbes, you mangy fuzz-brained lunk head, where are you?? ... I didn't mean that quite the way the sounded. C'mon Calvin, get back inside it's too late to go searching for your stuffed tiger now. I can't leave Hobbes alone in the woods at night! Well, maybe you should have thought about that before it got dark. This can be a little lesson, huh? I thought he'd come back by himself. I didn't think he'd get lost! We'll look for him tomorrow, now off to bed with you. Sniff. I hope he's ok. If he hadn't been acting so stupid I would have never left him. I sure wish he'd come back. Calvin left Hobbes somewhere in the woods. The poor kid's pretty upset. I'll bet. I mean, he's really upset. I said I'll bet he is. Really upset. Would my dad have done this? Of course not. I was never spoiled like this ...
No luck? Of course not! How am I going to find a stuffed tiger in the woods at night?! Why can't Calvin keep track of his toys?! I must be crazy to be out here. Hobbes! Oops. Heh heh. I may be crazy, but I'm not as crazy as you.
Is that you? Did you find Hobbes? It's almost midnight. Yeah, I got him. He was out there with the toboggan. Oh, honey, thank you! Calvin will be so happy!! Mmf. He'd better be, or tomorrow I'll leave him in the woods. C'mon we'll put Hobbes in Calvin's bed so he'll see him first thing tomorrow. He snuggled up in his sleep! What a little angel! Only at night, I'm going to bed.
Hobbes! You're back! I'm so glad to see you! I'm glad to see you, too. Gosh, weren't you scared being out in the woods at night? Heck no, tigers aren't scared of that! I got so bored I hiked back. Mom! Look! Hobbes is back! Yes, your dad found him last night and brought him in. is that soo?! Mm-hmm. Why don't you go thank him right now?

Images and text are Copyright of Bill Watterson


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